Putting the Bottle Down
by Obscurite-Asile
Summary: Modern AU. After Grantaire comes home drunk one night and almost rapes Enjolras, he has a choice to make, Enjolras, or alcohol. Giving up something he's relied on for so many years is harder than it sounds. The only question is, will Enjolras still be there for Grantaire at the end of it? The warnings are quite obvious. Drug abuse, reference to rape, sort of ooc.
1. Humans Make Mistakes

The L'Amis apartment building was filled with many youthful students sleeping. Some had only just gotten to sleep from a long night of studying while others had been asleep for hours, resting their minds for another day. This all changed when one drunken student entered the building. Grantaire stumbled up the apartment stairs, not caring who was going to be awoken by the ruckus he was causing. He was singing L'effaceur to himself, unaware that he was loud enough for the sleeping inhabitants to hear. Finally, he reached the second floor, third while pulling his shoes. His back leaned against the wall until both his feet were bare and he could feel the harsh wood. The evening was hot, causing his clothes to become saturated in sweat. He made his way through the black corridors, pulling his shirt off and throwing it to the perfectly washed floors. It was going to be there in the morning. His singing disappeared as he found his room and staggered in, walking over to the bed where his beautiful Enjolrars was sleeping, at least, where he was sleeping. This had become a weekly occurrence; Enjolras didn't have the energy to complain about how it was nearly four am. The room was always perfectly clean so nothing was in Grantaire's way. He finally reached the bed and fell onto it. The soft mattress broke his fall and he felt the lump of a man under the quilt. Enjolras moved slightly and Grantaire could only just see the tired face through the darkness but it was enough to make him smile. Just being around the blonde always put a smile on his face.

"Hello there my beloved," Grantaire muttered as he sat up.

"Grantaire, I'm trying to get to sleep. We've spoken about this before." Enjolras sounded annoyed but Grantaire didn't care. He was used to this tone; in fact, it was the exact same time Enjolras used any time Grantaire did something wrong, which is almost every day. All Grantaire wanted was to have a little fun.

"Yes, I know. If I come home after one in the morning I should sleep on the couch but I don't want to sleep on the couch. It isn't anywhere near as cosy as near you."His lips quickly went to Enjolras's cheek. He moved his legs so he was resting on Enjolras's crotch, the quilt was pushed aside. Enjolras started to squirm a little under Grantaire. This had happened to him three times before and each time, he was able to stop Grantaire in just a few seconds. He expected the same thing to happen this time so at first, Enjolras wasn't as aggressive as he should have been. Instead, he just took a deep breath, not wanting to anger Grantaire. When he was drunker than usual, Grantaire would be rather temperamental. It was as if Enjolras was looking after a toddler but he always put up with it.

"Not tonight, I'm not in the mood." This didn't have the same effect on Grantaire as Enjolras expected it to have. Instead of nodding and leaving, Grantaire desired it even more. It seemed to Grantaire, Enjolras was never in the mood. They had been together for just over two years and at first, their sex life was pretty decent. They were just a young couple that wanted to show how much they loved the other but now Enjolras was always busy. He was very rarely in the mood so now they only had sex once a week on average. It made Grantaire feel self-conscious. There had to be a reason Enjolras wasn't interested in Grantaire anymore. Was it because of how ugly Grantaire was? Had he found someone else and was just waiting until he waiting for the right time to break up with Grantaire? These thoughts always polluted his mind when Enjolras rejected him. With the courage of alcohol, Grantaire decided to finally change this.

He just smiled and kissed Enjolras's delicate lips. Part of him expected Enjolras to kiss him back, to enjoy the moment of lust but there was nothing. The mouth remained closed and he tried to push Grantaire off. As the drunk pulled his neglected lips away, Enjolras was able to speak."Grantaire, I'm not kidding around. Stop it." Grantaire just laughed and grabbed Enjolras's hands, pushing them to his side. His mouth went to his lover's neck, kissing it softly. Even in this drunk state, Grantaire wouldn't dare damaging the flawless skin that Enjolras possessed. Enjolras continued to struggle but the weight of Grantaire was too strong. His brandy-covered breath flew into Enjolras's ears.

"I love you, why don't you love me? Please love me, my darling Apollo."

"I do love you; I just don't want to have sex with you at the moment." Enjolras was both scared and angry. This had never happened before; he had to stop it before Grantaire went too far. It's all because of that vile alcohol. Grantaire didn't care for this statement. What was love without sex? For a moment, his hand went away from Enjolras's arms but before it reached his pants, a fierce knock hit his cheek. His hand went to the stinging cheek but it only lasted a second. Enjolras was able to pull his other hand out from under Grantaire and pushed him off the bed, landing on the ground in a thud. It was not even close to the most pain Grantaire ever experienced but it was enough to make him feel sore. He sat up, rubbing the pain on his lower back. Enjolras stepped out of bed. The pain disappeared almost instantly as he looked up at Enjolras.

"Fine, you can be top. You don't need to be so dramatic about it." He wrapped his arms around Enjolras's lower back, pulling him closer. "Come on," he kissed Enjolras' stomach, just above the top of his old pants, through the night-shirt. Sometimes the foreplay was even better than the actual sex. Enjolras would always tease Grantaire. His kisses would be soft and tender and every time Grantaire would act in haste, Enjolras would slow him down. In his twisted mind, this was what was happening at the moment. He continued to smile, expecting Enjolras's attitude to change. His hands were grabbed by Enjolras, pulled away and shoved forward. Grantaire fell back again, but it wasn't as hard this time.

"Sleep it off Grantaire. I'll see you in the afternoon." Enjolras's voice was harsh; he was trying to hold back his anger. Even Grantaire could hear this. Enjolras walked over to the door and passed through it, shutting it as soon as he left. Grantaire was going to have another night being rejected from his love. He looked at the door and shouted rather loudly;

"A simple no would have sufficed." Grantaire didn't have the energy to move onto the bed. Instead, he remained on the soft carpet until he fell into a deep slumber.


	2. Making a Decision

Grantaire woke up the next day to the sound of his alarm going off. He struggled to find the alarm on the bedside table and slammed his hand onto it. In bright red colours, it said the time. 5:10pm. This may sound odd to a normal reader but for Grantaire, this was nothing out of the ordinary for his days off. He pushed himself off the floor, trying to remember why he didn't move himself onto the bed. It soon shrugged off when he remembered it wasn't the strangest place for him to end up after a wild night out. One time he woke up in Tuscany, how he got there was never answered.

As you can tell, Grantaire remembered very little of what happened to him the night prior and none of it included his interaction with Enjolras. The last thing he remembered vividly was clasping the wine bottle from Amelia's hand at the Musain. Everything after that was a bubbly, dark blur. Now his joy was replaced with ache his head formed an excruciating pain. Even though he had gotten used to it, that doesn't mean Grantaire didn't feel the thud enclosed in his brain or the sickening feeling in his stomach. There was only one thing that could cure him, more alcohol. He stood up and made his way out of the room, humming the tune to L'efaccuer. It was the only thing that remained in his brain from the night earlier and just having it play along was enough to make him temporarily ignore the pain.

Enjolras and Grantaire had shared the apartment for three years and they shared it with two of Enjolras's friends, Courfeyac and Joly. I was an average sized apartment, nothing to rave about but nothing to be ashamed of either. There were two bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room and a bathroom. The laundry room was downstairs with all the others, forcing the inhabitants to mingle with one another. Naturally, Grantaire never used this. It was up to Courfeyac to make sure the laundry was always clean. Their arrangement worked out rather well, especially for Grantaire. He had no actual chores to do. He did at first but they usually went undone so instead of arguing, his friends decided to just do it themselves. They were good roommates. Better than what he deserved but it's not like Grantaire was going to complain about it.

What a surprise for Grantaire, they were already waiting for him in the kitchen. Courfeyac was sitting on the table while Joly was sitting on the counter and Enjolras was leaning against the wall. His arms were folded and as soon as Grantaire entered the room, all eyes went to him. They were all filled with different levels of anger, Enjolras having the second most just after Courfeyac. It was probably because he had done something stupid the night prior, just as always. They hadn't started to yell at him for it though, that was something new. It must have been pretty bad, but if they weren't going to bring it up he wasn't going to ask. His hangover continued to be his main focus, where was the brandy he needed? When he made his way to the cabinets, he opened them, expecting to see at least a dozen bottles ready to welcome him into the new day. There was nothing there.

Immediately he felt his heart race. He always had some bottles there, whether they are wine, brandy or a simple whisky and everyone knew not to touch it. He took a deep breath to calm him down. So, his drinks weren't in the cabinet. It wasn't like they just disappeared. As long as some traces of alcohol entered his body, he was going to be just fine. The looks of his roommates continued to pierce into his skin as he went to the fridge. There was nothing but food and a few bottles of water. There wasn't even any beer. This finally made his attention to his friends. What could he had done which was so horrible that he deserved this? None of them had moved a muscle, they just continued to gaze at him and finally, Grantaire grew scared. By now they definitely would have been yelling at him, telling him that it was the final straw and he had to stop drinking. His stomach started to feel queasy but Grantaire wasn't sure if it was from the lack of alcohol, overindulgence of alcohol or the guilt he was feeling.

"I am really sorry for what I have done. What is it that I have done? Where is my alcohol?"

"We threw it out," answered Courfeyac. Grantaire cringed at the thought. There were easily a hundred franks of wine and brandy his so called friends had just ruined. There better be a good reason for this.

"And? What did I do to make this a punishment?" Finally, Enjolras spoke.

"You tried to rape me." His voice was timid, almost scared. Grantaire could barely hear it over the thudding in his head which continued, but he did hear it. Even if he couldn't remember the night, he knew he wouldn't do something like that. Enjolras must have been mistaken.

"No, I didn't. I may have kissed you but I do not think I had any intention of having sex with you if you didn't desire it. You know I wouldn't have done something like that. I will forgive you in one condition; you retrieve everything you stole from me."

"Why would he make up something like that? We all know you're not yourself when you're drunk, you seem to be the only one ignorant to this," Joly responded but Grantaire ignored it. He focused on Enjolras, expecting him to answer. The blonde just stood there, still unsure what to say. Grantaire had to comfort him, to explain to Enjolras why he was mistaken. He made his way over to Enjolras and tried to grab hold of his lover's hand, only for it to be pulled away.

"Enjolras, I don't know what you think you saw but I'm sorry. I could never hurt you."

"But Joly is telling the truth. You're not you when you're drunk, well, drunker than usual. You do things without realising how wrong they were but usually its stupid little things like insulting others or pissing in something that is not the kitchen. This time, you could have actually hurt me." Grantaire took a deep breath; he hated being told he could have actually hurt his beloved.

"From the sound of it, I didn't hurt you though. Why are we arguing about something that didn't even happen?"

"Because you could have." Joly answered, his soft voice becoming harsher slightly. "We cannot excuse you just because the plan didn't go the way you planned." Grantaire frowned. Planned? Even if he did do what they accuse him of doing, it wasn't like he planned the affair. His gaze continued to focus on Enjolras. Enjolras had never looked so scared before. He tried to look away and hide the fear from Grantaire but it was no use. How was Grantaire able to make a crack in the statue that was Enjolras in just one night? This made him feel more nauseas and the attention that was designated to his aching head transferred to this. Part of him wished Enjolras would just yell at him and get it over with. It would make him feel like everything made sense and he just made a stupid mistake. Perhaps they were right, perhaps he did try to…he couldn't even think it. "If Enjolras didn't fight back you would have raped him." The two were not hiding back their anger, something which rarely happened and it made Grantaire feel even worse. He hated it when people attacked him, even though they had every right to do so. Part of him just wished Enjolras kept it to him, so they could deal with it quietly like two grown men should. Enjolras was never one to need his friends to defend him, why did he need them now?

"Just because you're our friend doesn't mean we're going to easily forgive you for this."

"That's true. If it was up for us you wouldn't even be here right now." As much as Grantaire tried to ignore them, their remarks continued to hit him. It was enough to take Grantaire's attention off of Enjolras for a moment. He had to deal with them before his desire to kill them became too strong. His gaze snapped to them and a look of politeness was forced to his face; there was a gentle smile, which was about all the effort he made. His eyes locked with Courfeyac.

"Excuse me but this a private matter, I would appreciate it if you were kind enough to leave us alone," Courfeyac responded in a sombre tone.

"That's not for you to decide." His gaze flicked back to Enjolras so Grantaire copied him. Enjolras continued to just stand there, his attention fixed on the ground. Well, it was until he realised they were waiting for him to decide what was going to happen.

"Yes, of course. You two can leave, I'll be able fine on my own." There was still some resistance from their friends but the two left, leaving Enjolras and Grantaire alone. Enjolras pushed himself away from Grantaire so he was no longer restricted to the wall. Neither was sure of what to say next.

"Listen, if I did hurt you it was an accident and I'm truly sorry." Enjolras just shrugged. He grabbed Grantaire's hand and led him to the small table Courfeyac was sitting on but the two sat on the old wooden chairs. They didn't even use the chairs while eating anymore; they were only used when someone had to talk to someone else.

Enjolras had spent the whole day trying to think of what to say to Grantaire. Joly and Courfeyac had given him suggestions but none of them were helpful. It was because he knew Grantaire more than they did; he knew that drinking wasn't just for fun. It wasn't as easy as taking a toy away from a child. It would have been a lot easier if he didn't want to stay with Grantaire.

"We can't have what happened last night happen again," he finally said with a soft tone. If he was too demanding, Grantaire would protest. Grantaire nodded, he understood what Enjolras was saying. He didn't want anything like this to happen again but he also knew the alternative, something he didn't want to think about. Enjolras knew Grantaire knew this. "Do you think you'll be able to do it?" Grantaire sighed and shook his head.

"I can't promise anything." Enjolras tightened his grip on Grantaire's hand. He had promised Joly and Courfeyac that something was going to be done; otherwise Grantaire was going to be kicked out of the apartment. Enjolras didn't want this. Grantaire should be punished, but not exiled just because the wine had gone to his brain.

"Can you at least promise that you'll try?" Grantaire placed his free elbow on the table and pressed his head onto his hand. Could he try?

"I don't know."

"You better decide soon. It's either the alcohol or me." Enjolras believed this was going to help Grantaire pick the right choice. If Grantaire loved Enjolras as much as Enjolras loved him, the answer was going to be instant. By the way Grantaire hesitated, they both knew the answer.

"I need to think about it." He pulled his hand away from Enjolras and stood up. All he needed was to go out and drink. Then the pounding head and anxious stomach would disappear. Enjolras knew this.

"You're not going out to drink, are you?"

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not but if I do, I assure you, I'm not going to come home tonight. We wouldn't want me to try to hurt you again." Grantaire grabbed his shirt and shoes from the night before, putting them on. Enjolras didn't have the energy to argue with Grantaire. In his mind, Grantaire had already chosen.

The Cafe Musain was a local cafe that was only ten minute away from the L'amis apartment. It was where Grantaire spent most of free time. In fact, he got a job there a few months prior because he knew as much about drinks as most employees. It was one of the few cafes that actually served alcoholic beverages. Sure, he was constantly tempted by the alcohol he poured into glasses only for others to take it away from him but it was still fun and it got him a discount on all the drinks he actually did get to drink. The workers there were his family in a way. They knew ever little habit Grantaire possessed and he had told them almost everything that happened to him in his life. That's the problem with alcohol; it destroys the filter which would have told him to stop talking.

As soon as Grantaire walked into the cafe, he felt the eyes go to him for a brief second. Eponine, the new employee was working. The two had only met a few times but they already became friends. She took out a bottle of wine and placed it on the counter.

"Thank you Madame," Grantaire muttered with a soft smile as he moved to the chair and sat down. He grabbed some coins out of his pocket and placed them on the counter. While he didn't have any money for rent or groceries, there was always plenty of money left for alcohol. There were only twelve people in the room, including Eponine and Grantaire. "Business seems slow today." Eponine shrugged. It was just before the big rush so she was pleased with the momentary relaxation. Her long brunette had started to frizz a little; perhaps she had slept late and didn't have time to fix it. Grantaire didn't care, he had his wine, and everything was going to be just fine.

It's hard to explain the sensation of the first sip to those who don't understand it. It's like an ice cream on the hottest day of the year, a cuddle to a child as they wake up from a nightmare, an old friend greeting him after a year of neglect. It was perfection, and now he's expected to give it up just because of one stupid mistake. But the stupid mistake wasn't little, if what they said was true, he could have hurt Enjolras. All he needed was to forget it ever happened, but Enjolras wouldn't forget.

Just the one sip was enough to calm him down. The pounding stopped and he was back to normal. Now, he could finally think. He continued to sip on it slowly; this was going to be the only drink he was going to have for the day. If he had anymore it would cloud his judgement, Grantaire wasn't that stupid. Though, one could easily argue the opposite.

What if Enjolras was right? This was all he could think about. What if he did refuse Enjolras's pleas to stop and continued to try and force something that wasn't there. The bottle was placed back on the counter, waiting to be consumed by the sceptic. He probably did do what they accused him of, he screwed up. He continued to stare at the bottle. It was just sitting there, oblivious to the dilemma it put itself into.

"Don't look at me like that," Grantaire told the bottle. "It's your fault Enjy is mad at me." He often thought out loud, most people have learned to ignore what he said. Eponine, being the new, naive girl she was didn't know this. She heard of this Enjy who she assumed was Enjolras only once before, and all she gathered from that discussion was that he was Grantaire's boyfriend. Because of this, she felt the need to learn more about the damage alcohol had caused. She was still getting used to the listening to problem part of bartending. There was no one better to practice with than Grantaire.

"And what exactly did the alcohol do?" Eponine asked with a twisted smile. Grantaire looked up to her for a moment.

"If you must know, it may have just destroyed the best relationship I have ever had. Now I have to give it up or lose the love of my life." He copied her smile.

"And you decided to think it over by coming here for a drink? I swear, how can you be so smart and so stupid at the same time?" Grantaire chuckled lightly.

"What can I say? It's a rare talent," he muttered before picking up the bottle and taking another sip. It wasn't as extraordinary as the first sip but it was still amazing.

"In that case, you've made your mind up. You don't want to be with Enjolras so I think you should break up with him now. That way you would save both of you a lot of time." Immediately, Grantaire frowned, almost disgusted by what Eponine had just said. Though, she was younger than him. Her experience in love was limited to one man who fell in love with someone else.

"But I do adore Enjolras, if I didn't I wouldn't have taken all the abuse he's thrown at me over the years. I would have just left him and tried to find someone else but I'm never going to love anyone as much as I love Enjolras. I've put too much effort into this relationship to throw it away now." Originally his intention was to let Eponine understand why it was so difficult but once he noticed the grin on her face, he realised what her intention was. He continued to glare at her. "You're becoming better," he muttered. Grantaire looked at the bottle, deciding whether or not he needed the final sip. He grabbed it and pressed it to his lips but for some reason, just the smell of the alcohol made him feel slightly sick. After he placed the almost full bottle back on the counter, knowing he was never going to see it again, he stood up. "It was a pleasure talking to you mademoiselle." Just like that, his decision was made. He was going to try to give up his precious alcohol.

He tried to quit several times over the years, the longest he was able to stay sober was for a week and a half back in 2008. Every moment was torture and he finally succumbed into his old ways but he didn't have Enjolras. This time he had a reason to give up alcohol.

I know what you're probably thinking. How did these two form a special relationship? The answer is very simple. They met one night at a friend's party and in an instant Grantaire was struck by cupid's arrow. He had never seen someone so majestic before and when he spoke, it lit something in Grantaire's heart. Naturally, Enjolras wasn't too fond of Grantaire at the beginning. He would put up with Grantaire as much as he could and slowly, Grantaire's charm started to amuse Enjolras, as did his persistency. The ability to never give up was always one he was fond of and because it was so rare, seeing Grantaire possesses it made him curious. The feelings became neutral to a degree and they started to go out and they've been together ever since. That's the story of how Enjolras and Grantaire became boyfriends.

Even if you do not like this approach, you can't say it is non-existent. Many people fall in love this way every year. One person notices the attraction and bugs the other until they see it as well. Even though they were always arguing, they were also always in love. No one else could see why Enjolras decided to stay with Grantaire; even Grantaire had a hard time trying to figure out the answer. Why would someone as majestic as Enjolras fall in love with a rat like Grantaire? While he still didn't understand it, Grantaire didn't want to end. If getting rid of the alcohol meant the two could stay together, then it had to be done. All he could do was hope that Enjolras was able to forgive him for walking out on him earlier.

He made his way to his apartment building and went up to his section. For a few seconds, he waited by the door with his hand on the knob, not sure if he walked into the room. Courfeyac and Joly weren't there; it was just Enjolras sitting on the couch. Good. The blonde turned his head as soon as Grantaire stepped into the room, trying to hide the fear he had.

"If you want to get all your stuff I should warn you, they're kind of all over the place." Grantaire smiled a little and walked over to Enjolras, who didn't move from the tacky red couch they had. This was as close to a joke as Enjolras got.

"No, I don't want to go; I want to stay with you." Enjolras looked up at Grantaire. Part of Grantaire expected a smile or a gasp because he was so amazed that Grantaire changed his mind, but Enjolras's marble face didn't change at all.

"You were at the Musain, weren't you?"

"Yes, I was but I only had one drink."

"And you expect me to be proud of you for that? All you did was just prove that you care more about your wine than me." With a sigh, Grantaire sat down next to Enjolras. He tried to grab his lovers hand but Enjolras pulled away before they even made contact. Enjolras had never been so mad before.

"Considering it's the only drink I've had for the whole day and it's me, yes, I suppose you should be." Enjolras didn't answer. "Listen, you don't understand what it's like to be an alcoholic. It's not something I can easily give up but I thought about it. If I try, I may eventually be able to live without alcohol but I know I can't live without you. " Enjolras finally looked back to Grantaire. Grantaire could tell there was still doubt in Enjolras but Enjolras noticed how serious Grantaire was. "And if that's what you want, then I guess I have no choice, I'll stop drinking. But, you need to understand something. I'm going to get really mean. Crueller than usual and I'm going to do things I don't mean to do, ok?

"And how's that any different to now?" How odd, it was his second joke of the night. It was actually kind of adorable to see Enjolras so oblivious to what he was going to encounter, Grantaire couldn't help but smile softly. Yes, he was definitely going to give up alcohol just so he could see the harsh blue eyes he had grown to love gazing at him for several more years.

"Yes, it's very different. Just promise me, no matter how difficult and infuriating I get, you won't leave me. I might not act like it, but I'll need you. Please?" Enjolras hesitated for a moment. His arm moved up and wrapped itself around Grantaire's shoulder, pulling him closer. Grantaire nervously rest his head on Enjolras's shoulder. He liked it when they were like this; it was like Enjolras was ready to protect Grantaire from the rest of the world.

"I promise. No matter what happens, not matter how much of an arse you become, I won't leave you." Enjolras started to rub Grantaire's arm to comfort him.

"I'm sorry for what I did last night."

"It's ok. I forgive you." Grantaire felt a light kiss on his tangled hair.

.


End file.
